Windy City Drama

It’s good to be a Chicago sports fan these days.  Or, at least, it’s exciting.  Or excruciating.  Depends on the moment/sport.

The Blackhawks took care of the Flames in a back-and-forth series on the ice, and although they are down in the 3rd period of the first game of their series with the Canucks, hockey fans have  lots to cheer for.  [Side note:  Would like to know why Vancouver's pro hockey team uses a derogatory term for their name.]

The Sox and Cubs have fans pulling out their hair much of the time (except for when they are winning).  And as the Cubs have just given away a game they led much of the time in the top of the 10th, I have nothing to say about them right now.  Wait — I think they just got an out.  That’s…never mind.

But the Bulls.  Talk about Drama.  Or DRAMA.  With the exception of an ugly Game 3, the Bulls have given the defending national champs all they can handle and then some.  [Side note: I am not a Bulls fan, but I do enjoy cheering for the underdog, especially against an obnoxious team like the Celtics -- see the previous post from TheWittyOne.  But Noah still drives me crazy.]  And as if four previous games didn’t have enough drama, take Game 6.  The Bulls were up.  The Celtics came back.  The game ended in a tie.  (Pause for shock.)  OT was back and forth.  It ended in a tie.  (Another pause for shock.)  In 2OT, the Bulls were up.  The Celtics came back on a 3 that shouldn’t have been allowed.  The Bulls failed to get a shot off.  It ended in a tie.  (Once again, shock.)  3OT included a missed dunk, a block and 2 missed free throws in the last 12 or so seconds, before the Bulls finally claimed a 1-point victory.

DRAMA. 

Let’s hope the Windy City gets to enjoy more sports drama in 2009.  Like extended playoffs for the Hawks and Bulls.  Playoffs for the baseball teams.  And a strong performance from the Bears and their new QB…and…

Why The Celtics (And Their Fans) Must Be Stopped

Last week, after the Bulls’ first victory against the Celtics, TheCleverOne and I were discussing the topic via email. I articulated my hatred for Celtics fans thusly:

If my team was the #2 seed and the defending NBA champ, and was playing at home, and was getting their ass handed to them by a rookie point guard from a #7 seed—then I would not be jumping up and down and waving my finger in the air in a “we’re #1” fashion, like the world’s most entitled douchenozzle. I’d be under my chair, praying.

However, as the series has continued, I have come to realize that I was wrong in what I said. First of all, I was not nearly harsh enough. Second of all, I should have included the Celtics players in my rant.

This has been a great series. Four of the five games thus far have come down to the wire. I credit the Bulls. They’ve showed tenacity and toughness that I didn’t know they possessed. And all this experience can only benefit the team, especially the younger players. Maybe Vinny Del Negro will even learn a thing or three about strategy and how not to run out of timeouts before the game is over.

However, I have not, at any point, confused the Bulls’ surprising play with them actually being a contending team, or even a very good team. They are a growing team that is currently overachieving.

Thus, I fail to see how this series has been anything short of embarrassing for the Celtics. They are the more talented, more experienced team. They have home court advantage. The refs have been most obliging to them. And really, that’s fine. If you spend several years in the league establishing yourself, you probably deserve the benefit of the doubt. Any Chicagoan who remembers the MJ era knows this better than anyone.

So I can’t complain about the officiating in general. I can complain about the officiating specifically, like when a guy gets punched in the mouth in a no-ball foul in the waning seconds of the game and that’s not considered flagrant. But hey. If punching a guy in the mouth is what the Celtics need to do in order to beat an obviously inferior and overmatched team, then they should go for it. You stay classy, Boston!

And don’t even get me started on Kevin Garnett. All that jawing is pretty remarkable coming from a guy who hasn’t done a single thing this series except sit his butt down on the bench (or sulk in the locker room, when he prefers). I mean, wow. WOW.

So I’d like to amend my rant as follows:

If I were either a player on or a fan of a team that owns #2 seed, or a team that is the defending NBA champ, or a team that has the benefit of home court advantage—hell, how about all three—and we had already been taken into OT an NBA-record 3 times by an obviously overmatched #7 seed with a rookie head coach who can’t even count timeouts, or we’d been schooled by a rookie point guard and/or a guy with a bum leg, or if we had to resort to fisticuffs in order to win a game, then I would not be jumping up and down and waving my finger in the air in a “we’re #1” fashion, nor would I be sh*t-talking the other team, like the world’s most entitled douchenozzle. I’d be under my chair, praying that the Lord in his infinite mercy would not wipe me off the face of the earth right then and there.

I feel better now, thanks. Next Topic: How the “Big Baby” nickname needs to be retired never should have existed in the first place.

My Most Hated Things: A Musical Ode

I could put an explanation here: “To the tune of…” However, I’m guessing that all of you are sharp enough to figure this one out. If you aren’t, please email me and I will rewrite the penultimate verse to include you.

Special thanks goes to the Celtics fans who attended Saturday’s game, especially, and Monday’s game as well. Thinking about how I wanted to punch all of them in the face got me thinking about other sports things that I hate. These fans do not appear in this song, but they are the inspiration behind it.

Patriots Nation and Cardinal backers
Manny Ramirez and other dumb slackers
Media types whose “insight” is wanting
These are a few of my most hated things

Nibbling the corners and walking the batters
Pumping your fist like your stupid team matters
The Packers will cause my rage bell to ring
These are a few of my most hated things

The Astros, the Reds and the Milwaukee Brewers
I wish these teams would be flushed down the sewers
But playing the Pirates a victory brings
So they are not one of my most hated things

Headhunter Beckett and ‘roided-up freaks
Your lack of integrity gives me the creeps
Bill Belichick acts like he’s king
These are a few of my most hated things

Jeter and A-Rod and CC, that fatty
All Yankee players, oh so mercenary
You can’t buy a pennant, that surely must sting
These are a few of my most hated things

Tony LaRussa, that fraud Dusty Baker
All their excuses could fill up an acre
Did I mention the Cards, how their ass needs kicking!
These are a few of my most hated things

When the hate strikes
I don’t fight it
That isn’t much fun
I simply remember my most hated things
And then I go find my gun!

I Know My Teams

Once again, I found myself in a situation where I got a few surprised looks for knowing my boys.  Yes, it took me a few minutes to remember one former player, but I knew where he was from.  Although I wasn’t intentionlly listening to other fans conversations, it was quiet enough that I coudn’t help but hear.  And when I finally remembered the answer, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. 

Sorry.

It’s just that I know my teams.  And the sports I follow.  And I want to be helpful.  No need to be shocked, just because I happen to know the names of a few players you can’t remember and happen to be female.

And if I overhear your conversation, I reserve the right to quote you online.

Pinch Me

Figures that it would take a once-in-a-generation event to bring me out of hiding. Wait, how long has it been since Luckman? Make that once in two generations.

If you do not like this trade, you are—quite simply—an idiot. Let’s just think about this for a minute. I’m actually glad we don’t have first round picks this year or next. Jerry Angelo cannot draft in the first round. The higher the pick, the more spectacular the whiff. The only things we get out of the first round are overpriced contracts for underperforming players, and guys who hold the future of the franchise hostage by monopolizing key positions. For many of the past several years, we’d actually have been better off just giving away our first round picks for free. So to get Jay Cutler for them is like highway robbery.

Franchise quarterbacks, particularly young franchise quarterbacks, do not grow on trees. You cannot bypass that opportunity, assuming that another one will present itself soon after. As we have seen, it doesn’t.

Even if we assume the best about Jerry’s drafting ability, history tells us that at least one of those two picks would fail to perform up to standard—maybe a complete bust, or maybe just an impressive disappointment. That leaves you with one good pick. Can you foresee any situation in which that pick would turn out to have a more dramatic and lasting impact than a 25-year-old franchise quarterback? I certainly cannot.

Welcome, Jay Cutler. When do the jerseys go on sale?