XLIII

Super Bowl Sunday is quickly approaching.  And althouth TheWittyOne did an excellent job outlining the case for rooting for and against each team, I have a few thoughts to add now that the matchup is set.

I don’t follow the NFL as closely as some other sports, but I always like to have someone to cheer for in the big game.  Thing is, this year I’m torn.

Arizona Cardinals:  I tend to cheer for underdogs, and this underdog happens to include one of my favorite kickers — Illini Neil Rackers.  And did you know his long snapper is also an Illini?  It’s true.  So right there I have a couple reasons to cheer on the Cards.  Plus, I like Kurt Warner.  And I love that Arizona has excelled with him on the field and former USC BMOC on the sidelines.  I just can’t like Matt Leinart, and seeing his team do well without him is a source of glee.  But they are still the Cardinals.  That makes me think of a baseball team that I really don’t like.  In fact, the Cardinals moved to Arizona from that city.  They left Chicago for that city.  Ugh.

Pittsburgh Steelers:  The “Stillers” won a place in my heart by drafting Illini Rashard Mendenhall in the first round last year, and although he suffered a season-ending injury in his first start, that doesn’t change the fact that the Steelers chose him.  And their fullback is Illini Carey Davis, who was bounced all over the NFL as a free agent, but seems to have a home in Pittsburgh.  Plus, I like defense.  (I did grow up cheering for Da Bears, after all.)  But Big Ben just doesn’t inspire me.  I haven’t really taken the time to move past the reckless motorcycle thing, although he seems to have settled down quite a bit.  And their colors mirror those of my favorite college team to hate.  It’s hard to cheer for anything resembling Iowa. 

All that said, I’ll root for a really good game and good commercials.  I’ve found enough to like about either team that I should be satisfied no matter who comes out on top.

Unpredictably Entertaining

The Big Ten basketball season.  Unexpected upsets, great runs, close games.  Lots of fun.

Unpredictable:  Minnesota is a contender.  Indiana isn’t.  Penn State is dangerous.  Iowa seems to be struggling, but they still beat Wisconsin.  Northwestern got their second conference win at the Breslin Center.  Michigan State lost at home.  Wisconsin is on a 4-game conference losing streak. 

Entertaining:  Lots of overtime games and big comebacks.  Lots of games decided by narrow margins.  Passionate players and fans.

I’m really enjoying the conference this season, although it helps that my Illini have gotten off to a strong start.

The sidelines look much different, with many recent coaching additions in the conference.  I’ll admit I miss having coaches to make fun of (Alford, Sampson), but I like having quality coaches that respect the game all around the conference (Crean, Tubby, etc.).

But more so than in recent years, Big Ten basketball has become lots of fun — and worth watching.  And that’s my plan for the next several weeks!

On Their Own Terms

In the world of sports, athletes and coaches are under intense pressure, and they can fall from favor pretty quickly. Stepping away from anything you’ve poured years of your life into isn’t easy, but more people in sports seem to be pushed out than allowed to walk on their own terms.   But there seems to be a right way and a wrong way to go out — even on your own terms. 

Take Brett Favre.  Had he walked away after last season, as he at one point said he would, the media would have spent much of the season singing his praises as one of the legends of the game.  But he decided he wanted to play — even when the Packers said they didn’t want him.  Farve returned on his own terms, playing for the Jets, but now his legacy will forever be tainted by the break with the Packers and an injury that led to a sub-par end of the season for the Jets — and walking papers for his coach.

On the other hand, take Tony Dungy.  His retirement from coaching has been mourned, and his contribution to the game has been lauded from all corners.  He walked away on his own terms, for reasons that were very clear to him, and leaves a bright legacy behind him.

Both these men will be remember for years for what they brought to the NFL, but today it seems that Tony has a better understanding of what it looks like to work on his own terms.

Who To Root For? 2009 Edition

Now that the Eagles have dismissed the Giants, in a game that might have been decided the day Plaxico Burress (or Plaxi-pad, as my brothers and I prefer to call him) shot himself in the leg, and the Cardinals, Ravens and Steelers have dispatched the Panthers, Titans and Chargers, it is time for what has become an annual tradition. We must evaluate which team a football fan with no obvious rooting interests should support. Let’s take the four contenders in turn.

The Case For The Cardinals: Given how many times he’s resurrected his career, let’s just say it’s fitting that Kurt Warner vocally espouses Christianity. Gotta have at least some support for a guy who doesn’t quit. This has been a year for turn-arounds in a league noted for turn-arounds, but maybe Arizona’s is the most impressive of them all. This is the first modicum of success the team has achieved since they moved west, which technically means that the Arizona Cardinals have never been good—ever. Makes a purported turn-around story like the Ravens look pretty insignificant, seeing as how that team won a championship less than a decade ago. The Cardinals have put together two impressive, complete wins the last two weeks. One could make a strong case that they’ve been the best team in the playoffs, though the Steelers might argue that they shouldn’t be handicapped by their 50% smaller sample size. The NFC West was such a disaster this year that perhaps the Cardinals are the only thing keeping the division from collapsing under the weight of its own failures.

The Case Against The Cardinals: Playing well the last two games doesn’t exactly erase those two embarrassing mail-in jobs that they did at the end of the season. The Cardinals got fat off a weak schedule and, rather than challenge themselves to make the most of each game, made it clear they weren’t interested in doing anything beyond what was absolutely necessary (read: not a whole lot). The team had real troubles selling out their first playoff game, at one point in danger of a local blackout. If even their own fans don’t care, why should we? They share a nickname with a certain baseball team from St. Louis.

The Case For The Eagles: With two respected veterans (McNabb, Westbrook) and a little rookie spice (Jackson) on offense, a defense with more schemes than your average cartoon villain, and a pretty reliable kicker, the Eagles have almost inarguably the most balanced team in the playoffs. If you want to talk about best body of work for a QB over the last 7-10 years, and you’re sick of the Manning-Brady-Favre trinity, there’s a case to be made for Donovan McNabb. OK, Brady’s post-season success blows the other three away, but half-drunk guys in bars need something to argue about. The Eagles have been a pretty consistent playoff presence over the last few years (nice if turn-around story overload has left you lusting for consistent competitiveness) but have the best in-season turn-around story of the four (nice if you haven’t quite overdosed on that aspect just yet). Should the Eagles win the Superbowl, that would mean that the two biggest titles in professional sports simultaneously reside in Philly, which would officially kill—at least for the time being—any claim that Boston or New York has to being the best sports town in America. And anything that allows us to hear less from those two blowhard fanbases (and from their blowhard mouthpiece, ESPN) is always good in my book. The Eagles would be one-half of a historic #6 vs. #6 Superbowl matchup, which would be a nice counterpoint to last year’s theme of New England’s Inevitable Coronation (actual results of that story notwithstanding).

The Case Against The Eagles: History says that Philly fans can be at least as insufferable as NY or Boston fans, given the right circumstances. So maybe we don’t want a replacement for either city in the best sports town category. Maybe we’d rather just spread the wealth around. The Eagles were a part of perhaps the season’s single ugliest game: a gutless tie against the lowly Bengals, after which McNabb famously admitted he didn’t know NFL games could end in a tie. Should a team with no grasp of such fundamentals be rewarded? Keep in mind that there’s a bye week before the Superbowl. That potentially means three more weeks of Andy Reid growing that beard. By that time, it will probably have climbed off his face and attacked several small villages.

The Case For The Steelers: Like the Eagles, they’ve managed to stay pretty competitive in the ever-changing NFL landscape. Why should being good be more impressive if you got bad first? Isn’t staying good desirable? (Call it the WWE Theory. When my brothers used to watch wrestling and some roided-up freak was billed as the “8-Time WWE Champ”—as though the number of times made it more of an accomplishment—I’d always say the same thing: “If they didn’t keep losing the title, they wouldn’t have to keep winning it back.”) They have had the best overall season of any of the four remaining teams. Once again, consistency and a complete effort must count for something. If I were suddenly forbidden from rooting for the Bears, I’d root for the Steelers. Similar atmosphere, similar values, similar work ethic. Big Ben has evolved from the moron who messes up his head by crashing his bike to the guy who plays despite getting his head messed up by opposing defenses and still doesn’t complain. I respect that. Mike Tomlin is a stand-up guy and also one of the better looking head coaches in the NFL. I respect that too. If I have to pick one defensive player from the remaining teams, I’d probably pick Ed Reed. But if I get to pick a unit, I’ll take the Steelers hands-down, no disrespect to the Ravens or Eagles. Their offensive stats don’t look all that impressive, until you consider that those stats were amassed while their quarterback played flat on his back the entire season…

The Case Against the Steelers: …although that’s because their o-line allowed more sacks than all but the stalwart trio of Detroit, San Francisco and Cincinnati. Poor execution of the basics is always a major strike against a team, even if they managed success in spite of that. And those throwback uniforms? An unfortunate fashion choice.

The Case For the Ravens: They have a rookie coach who engineered a strong turn-around, but didn’t get a single coach of the year vote. They have a rookie quarterback at the helm, but he didn’t get a single rookie of the year vote. OK, the Flacco one we kind of get, seeing as how his big contribution was not screwing up. But still. They probably didn’t get the respect they deserve, and it might be fun to see them tell the haters to suck it. Their defense is undeniably impressive, but the offense showed it can pick things up in hostile environments even when defense isn’t having their best game (see: 37-27 and 33-24 victories at Cleveland and Dallas, respectively). Here’s a team that works together. Along with the Eagles, would be half of that #6 vs. #6 matchup. With the Orioles bad and their hockey and basketball franchises nonexistent, it stands to be a long year for the residents of Baltimore if they don’t get something good out of this NFL season. And should any of them think about switching loyalties, the nearby prospects of the Nationals, Redskins and Wizards aren’t much better (but how ’bout them Capitals?). Of the three bird teams, the Ravens have probably the best mascot. Ravens are smart but scrappy, durable and even a little nasty if they need to be. Eagles are patriotic and Cardinals are red. Whoopee. According an informal panel of several females and two heterosexual males, Joe Flacco is the best looking quarterback in football right now.

The Case Against The Ravens: They’ve lost twice to the Steelers. Maybe third time’s the charm, or maybe after two failures you don’t deserve a third try, at least not this season. Not entirely certain I can support a team that wears purple. I mean, I guess it’s nice to see someone break away from the standard sports uniform color palette, but there’s got to be some limits. What’s next? Hot pink?

Conclusion: This field doesn’t present one overwhelming favorite, but that also could be a good thing since it increases the likelihood of an acceptable Superbowl champion. Only a Cardinals victory would rank as a true disappointment. I could quite easily see myself supporting either a Steelers or Ravens or Eagles victory. I’ll probably wind up supporting whoever wins the Ravens-Steelers game, but so long as their opponent is the Eagles, we’re guaranteed a positive result.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys

There are a lot of reasons why we ladies go for the bad boys. Boredom, for one. Low self-esteem, for another.

Probably not the best reasons for picking a boyfriend. But the advantage of the bad boy is that you never have to guess what he’s thinking, or what he wants. Bad boys tend to be rather to-the-point types. They go after what they want, and they say what they’re thinking—which is a great thing until they say something their girl doesn’t want to hear (namely, in so many words, “I’m not interested in being with you anymore”), and then she slides into a pit of denial. But I digress.

Good guys, on the other hand, not so much. Where are they? What are they thinking? Who knows. It’s easy to go for the bad boy when all the alleged good guys never gather up the necessary fortitude to ask you out. And let’s be honest. Relationships have a spectacularly high failure rate. The good guy might not break your heart on purpose like the bad boy, but sooner or later he’s probably going to break it anyway.

The ultimate lure of the bad boy, though, is the fantasy that you’ll finally be the one to tame him. In this fantasy, he will spend the rest of his natural life making you happy, because he loves you enough to give up his bad boy ways (while still retaining enough of a sexy edge to make all your friends jealous). It never worked out for the bad boy and everyone else, but that will make your happy union all that much more special.

What, pray tell, does all this have to do with sports? I’m so glad you asked.

I think Jim Hendry has fallen hard for a very bad boy in Milton Bradley. For starters, all the alleged good guys never showed quite the level of interest that to-the-point Bradley did. And there’s no need to guess what’s Bradley wants. He doesn’t seem to want to be fat and take up space in the outfield (Adam Dunn). He doesn’t seem to want to sell his bat to the highest bidder like a shameless mercenary (Manny Ramirez). You’ll know what he wants because he goes after it with reckless abandon, be the object of his desire a victory for his team or an umpire’s head on a stick.

I’m sure Jim is tempted by the idea that Milton Bradley might spend the rest of his natural baseball life making the Cubs happy. Bradley could never stay healthy or stay sane for all those other teams. But for the Cubs, this notion goes, he will do both. I can see the appeal of that. Still, I’ve been against the Bradley signing for two reasons. One, we’ve already placed the success of our pitching rotation largely in the hands of Rich Harden, known injury magnet, and Carlos Zambrano—based on the last two months of last season, who knows what kind of shape his arm is in. And now we’re going to place the success of our lineup largely in the hands of another known injury magnet? We can handle a little bit of uncertainty in the lineup if our pitching is solid, and vice versa. Imperiling both makes me nervous. Two, there is an inverse relationship between the number of a-holes on my team and the amount of enjoyment I get from watching my team.

But. But, but, but. What if Bradley behaves himself and stays healthy? What if the Cubs finally are the ones to tame the bad boy? It’s going to take a miraculous convergence of circumstances for the Cubs to finally win it all. Even last year’s remarkable run of good luck wasn’t enough. Milton Bradley, filed down to a sexy edge, might turn out to be one of those factors that turns fantasy into reality.

In the end, even the nicest of nice guys will suffer decline and wind up breaking your heart (Derrek Lee). Signing a bad boy probably feels like a risk worth taking for a team that’s bored with losing (after 100 years of it) and that possibly suffers from low self-esteem (due to 100 years of being a loser). Maybe Milton Bradley will reward the Cubs’ loyalty by bringing them years of unending happiness. Or maybe he will just leave them in tears, eating chocolate, calling up their girlfriends, and swearing off temperamental switch-hitters forever.

Apparently, we are going to find out.

Bowling

Not the variety with pins and funky shoes — the holiday college football type.  It’s been a surprising bowl season so far. 

Some less noted bowls have been great games.  The Alamo bowl, for example, where Mizzou came from behind to beat Northwestern in overtime.  Or the Liberty Bowl, which required umpteen booth reviews to determine any number of plays as Kentucky managed to hold on against East Carolina. 

Some big-name bowls have not been as intersting as hoped.  Iowa dominated in the Outback Bowl, and USC did the same in the Rose Bowl. 

And others have been complete shockers.  In this category, see Ole’ Miss BIG over Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl and Utah over ‘Bama in the Sugar Bowl.

All this goes to say you never know what will happen.  That’s why you play the games.

And for those who want Pete Carroll to have a chance to prove his Trojans can beat anyone in the country, I would like to point out that he had his chance to do just that.  And failed.  If the Trojans can beat anyone in the country, they needed to take care of their business against Oregon State.  They didn’t, so they don’t get to play Texas or Oklahoma or Florida.  Think of the entire college football season as a kind of round-robin playoff. 

For those who argue that Utah should get a chance to prove themselves against the big names, you’ve got a better arguement.  They played everyone on their schedule and won.  Should they get to play again?  Actually, I’m quite satisfied with the amazing show they put on in the Sugar Bowl.  I don’t know if they could repeat that kind of performance against a Florida or not.

Oh, and looking ahead to the BCS Championship Bowl (I hesistate to call it the National Championship this year, but it is the BCS Championship), I would say Florida has the edge.  After all, the Big 12 South defenses have struggled so far…