The Yankees and the Cowboys: Each Other’s Cautionary Tale

When the NFL playoffs begin on Saturday, the Dallas Cowboys will not be participating. The fact has occasioned much hand-wringing from the Cowboy faithful, and much hilarity from, well, just about everyone else. The Cowboys have a perpetually loaded roster and are always in search of the best championship money can buy, but recent years have left them with nothing to show for it.

Does this, perhaps, sound like any other professional sports franchises you are familiar with?

If you said “the Yankees” then congratulations. You are either smart or able to read, possibly both. Let’s examine further, shall we?

1. Both teams are unable to learn from their mistakes. Not only is this a commonality, this is the premise upon which their entire relationship is based. Were the Yanks able to learn from their past, they would not be in the situation they are in now. Had the Cowboys an iota of self-awareness, they would not be in the situation they are in now. But reflection isn’t in the cards for these two. That’s why they need each other. If they can’t learn from their own mistakes, perhaps they can learn from the mistakes of the other.

2. Both teams sign players based on one criteria alone: some sort of basic talent level. I imagine that, in both team’s headquarters, the following sign is placed:

Sign players based on perceived level of talent. Not to be considered:

• Player’s history (or lack thereof) of actually capitalizing on said talent
• Player’s leadership abilities (or lack thereof)
• Player’s positive (or negative) presence in clubhouse
• Degree to which player does (or does not) fulfill actual need
• Player’s ability (or lack thereof) to come through in pressure situations
• Whether player may be reaching (or totally and completely past) his prime

3. Both teams think that problems can be solved by doing more of what hasn’t worked for the past several years: namely, signing players to inflated contracts, with no obvious over-arching strategy other than to reach some undefined critical mass of talent. You know that whole thing about insanity meaning that you do the same thing over and over again and think you’ll get different results? Yeah. Cowboys and Yankees, meet each other.

What’s that? Signing overpriced veteran after overpriced veteran got us right out of the playoffs? Well, let’s remedy that by signing another half-dozen or so this off-season!

What’s that? Signing a malcontent wide receiver didn’t put us over the hump? Let’s mortgage out half of next year’s draft picks to trade for another one!

4. Both teams seem to devalue proper coaching leadership. A big part of me suspects that this is because both franchises are helmed by notorious egomaniacs, who are probably loath to allow anything that might undermine their King of the World status. For the Yankees, this most recently meant they got rid of a coach before his time. Let me be clear. I think Joe Girardi is a fine human being and a good manager. I think he has a long career ahead of him. I think, at this point in time, he is better suited to managing a young, developing team as he is a young, developing manager (a observation I first made when the Cubs chose Piniella over Girardi). And he was obviously not cut out to wrangle a team full of me-firsties. That’s not a knock on him. It IS a knock on the Yankees, who obviously underestimated the skill that Torre had exercised in keeping the team in check. And when Torre got the Dodgers to a surprising NLCS bid and managed to turn Manny Ramirez into a productive team player (though I’m sure the prospect of a fat salary also had something to do with Manny’s good behavior)—can there be any question that the Yanks miscalculated?

The Cowboys’ most recent genius coaching move was the opposite of the Yankees’. They’ve decide to retain Wade Phillips, a coach who has obviously outlived his effectiveness as captain of this team. But I suspect the root cause is the same. Is Jones afraid to expose himself as an idiot by firing the coach he stupidly backed throughout all of this year’s drama?

Both teams have employed good coaches in the past. Heck, before this year’s brainlessness, Torre capably handled the Yankees for years. But ego and a healthy dose of foolishness dooms those arrangements sooner rather than later.

5. Both teams suffer from the “America’s Team” delusion. It is true that both teams are high profile. And it is true that both teams have more fans, strictly in terms of raw numbers. But both also have more haters, strictly in terms of raw numbers. Notoriety cuts both ways. But this nuance escapes them. Instead, both teams have fashioned a narrative in which they are the stars, the recipients of unquestioned adoration and the embodiment of the hopes and dreams of people everywhere. In their hubris (and hopefully you see a theme developing here), they believe the sun rises and sets on them.

So what’s the solution? I’m not sure there is one. Both teams are in too deep and the poor patterns are too deeply ingrained. And any chance of changing things is quickly fumbled away (pun possibly intended). Hiring Girardi could have been an opportunity for the Yankees to change their priorities. Instead, they just used it to compound their mistakes. Discovering Tony Romo could have signaled a new era in Dallas. Instead, they just ponied up a giant contract well before he proved himself to be Big Game Tony (and yes, I am mocking him).

Really, the only solution I see is to keep rooting against both. The more they lose, the more their stupid, selfish methods are invalidated, and the more joy will flow throughout the land.