And Iiiiiiieeeeeiiiii will always hate youuuuuu!
But you already knew that. So let’s instead start with something you don’t know: I kind of like you right now. I mean, like you in the like-you-while-still-hating-you sort of way.
Why do I like you now? Well, because you’re kind of spunky. You won’t give up. Even though anyone with two brain cells to rub together neither gave nor gives you any chance in the NL Central, you keep at it. In the face of a thin roster, injuries, and suspect talent, you remain undaunted. You pull yourselves up by your diminutive bootstraps and forge ahead. Ain’t you cute!
On a night when we beat the Braves 7-2 behind a complete game effort by our starter, you bested us with a complete-game-driven 10-0 triumph. Good show!
However, you also bested us in one other important category: injuries. My best guess is that losing Soriano will be less detrimental to us than losing Pujols will be to you. To cope with the loss of Soriano, we will have to leadoff with a guy who is hitting .322 with a .400 OBP, who has stolen 12 bases and strikes out just once every 11 at-bats. And we will have to fill his roster spot with a guy who was hitting .421 in limited duty, after crushing the ball all over the minors. And you will fill Pujols’ spot with a guy hitting .160 in AAA after being sent down due to lack of productivity.
Best of luck with that,
TheWittyOne
