X-cellent

Yes, the X Games commercials were cheesy, but I really do like watching crazy daredevils playing in the snow.  I watched them stomp their hits, get big air, and hit clean tricks.  I saw falls, crashes, wipeouts and yardsales.  I savored spins and flips ’til I was dizzy.  And I was thoroughly entertained for a weekend.

The culture of extreme sports like Superpipe, Skier X and Snomobile Freestyle is definitely unique.  They are all slightly crazy in their attempts to defy gravity and speed.  I don’t understand their language, listen to their music or mimic their style.  But they are pretty cool to watch for a couple days.

Do you have any idea how crazy skiers must be to flat-out race 5 others straight down a mountain at once?  They are going really, really fast, and it’s not easy to avoid bumping or being nudged — which can easily cause you to fly into the fence.  Can you appreciate the strength it takes to flip a 500-pound snowmobile upside down?  Or the sense of balance and control it takes to spin two-and-a half times one way (a 900) landing, riding a few feet, and then spinning three times the other way (a 1080) while grabbing your board in the air?

I love to play in the snow myself, as long as it’s snow in the mountains, I have on skis and my ski gear (for the record, it’s purple, not pink).  And although I love speed or powder or pretending to ski the bumps, I like to keep my skis on the snow.  But the three for four days I spend in the mountains each year gives me an appreciation for the extreme insanity of the X Games.  And a weekend was just enough to inspire me to get in shape for my own (relatively tame) ski vacation.

X-cellent!

Why I’m Rooting for the Patriots

Please, hear me out.

If your immediate response is disgust that I might offer any measure of support or approval to a group of videotaping, supermodel-dating, restraining-order-baiting idiots, I can’t really say much to defend myself against those specific points. I concede them all. Yet at the same time, I do find reasons to overlook these many drawbacks, though I must admit the lack of alternatives has worn away my resistance.

If the Giants win, what does that do for me? Answer: not a whole lot. What? Eli Manning’s endorsement money now jumps to about 3% of his brother’s, instead of the current .001%? Tom Coughlin’s face becomes slightly less red for a whole five minutes? The Yankees, who are tragically nearing almost a full decade in their current championshipless existence, suddenly have a source of title envy right in their own town? Not particularly compelling. The Giants wouldn’t even be the first team to spoil a perfect season in the final game. What can we say to this? Hooray for this NFL season as it yawns its way to a not so gripping conclusion?

But the Patriots have the story going for them. As a writer, I’m a sucker for the story. With the perfect season, the late-round quarterback, the controversial coach, the dynasty and, yes, even the cheating, you’ve got a storyline that will be told and retold and debated for years to come. You’ve got multiple layers of intrigue that you can look at multiple ways.

Over the past few weeks, sports radio has dragged out of mothballs every old player who was a part of a memorable season of superior football. Those stories still have resonance, even if the old timers are barely coherent or even if their entire contribution consists of sniffing in disgust at kidsthesedays. People still listen. And perhaps this is exactly why we shouldn’t root for the Pats. Maybe we’d prefer they just float away into chastened obscurity.

But my gut tells me that the Giants, even if they pull off the seemingly impossible, won’t be remembered for too long. This season is about the Patriots, plain and simple. If the Giants win, this season will be remembered as the season that the Patriots lost, not as the season that the Giants won. So maybe this is the point. Maybe we shouldn’t root for the Pats so this season can be remembered as the season where schoolchildren everywhere learned once and for all that cheaters never prosper.

Or maybe they win and the debate lives on. And, along the way, we create a dynamic story that will continue to evolve. To me, that’s more compelling than “Eli, Eli, he’s our man! If he can’t do it, Peyton can!!”

One-Year Wonders

They get lots of attention, these 18-year-olds who graduate from high school at the top of their game, and then do everything they can to springboard to lots of $$ in the NBA. 

Last year Dickie V & co. proclaimed the freshman class the best ever.  This year, we hear the same thing from the talking heads on the sidelines.  Mayo. Gordon. Love. Rose. And so many others.  All trying to be Carmello and cut down the nets in one brief year of glory before moving on. 

So is a superstar freshman the key to winning it all in March?  While college is definitely making guys more marketable (See: Durant, Odom), they rarely get their team all the way to the top (See again: Durant, Odom).  There’s no question that Carmello carried the Orange a few years ago, but that was an anomoly.  The super freshman needs a cast of experienced, talented upperclassman to go all the way. 

Mayo launched the hopes of USC (did you know they have a basketball team?).  But even with the win across town against Kevin Love and UCLA, they aren’t at the top of the rankings.  Derrick Rose is at the top, but he only adds to a strong team with Joey Dorsey and Chris Douglas-Roberts.  Gordon is in the top 10 (although not for long after the home loss to UConn), but he’s got D.J. White inside, among others.

I contend that teams most likely to show up in San Antonio have NBA-caliber stars with more than one year of higher education.  But the freshman do give us some good stories, great highlights, and a lot more unpredictability.  I’m not sold on the one-year wonders, but they are entertaining.

Remember how “heroic”…

…the Giants were for playing the Patriots right down the wire? Remember how “courageous” it was for them not to give up midway through the first half, even though they had absolutely nothing to gain, standings-wise, from a win? Remember how the momentum of that loss was credited with boosting Eli’s confidence and propelling the Giants to their unexpected playoff run?

Well, maybe that last part is true. Maybe if they’d just packed it in, they would have lost their mo’ and made an early exit from the playoffs. In that case, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation and the whole point would be moot.

But, on the other hand, one has to think that, had the Giants foreseen this upcoming rematch with the Pats, they might have not played all their cards in that one game. Because they used up their best bullet and it didn’t work. And now they’ve got little to offer but more of the same, and you KNOW the Patriots are going to be extracutthroat because, (A) it’s the Superbowl and they’ve been building up to this all year; and (B) they love to stick it to any team that dares question them, accuse them of cheating, or, in this case, play them in any sort of competitive fashion.

I just can’t help but wonder if the Giants would’ve been better served, in the long run, by rolling over and dying in that last game. You know…lull the giant (no pun intended) to sleep and then hit him where it hurts.

Who To Root For?

It seems that there’s no one left to root for in the NFL playoffs, now that likeable Southern cutie Peyton Manning and all-around good guy Tony Dungy are out. Then again, we can look on the bright side. If the Patriots lose, then Bill Belichick is knocked off his high horse, at least temporarily. But if they win, then the ‘72 Dolphins go away, hopefully forever. Either way, humanity wins.

But, comforting as that thought might be, it gets us no closer to deciding who we should root for, if anyone. So let’s take an objective look at the pros and cons.

The Case For the Chargers
Favored to win the Superbowl last year, the Chargers were upset by the Patriots. So began a long downhill spiral, leading to the controversial firing of Marty Schottenheimer, the controversial hiring of Norv Turner, and a rocky start to their season. But they’ve turned it around and are now poised to bring the whole thing full circle by upsetting the Patriots, the team who upset them, thus completing this epic journey back to where they began. That’s good copy right there. With Rivers and Tomlinson out, you’ve got to admire the win they pulled off this past weekend. It’s good for those of us who love the storyline where the back-up gets pressed into service at a crucial juncture and responds impressively. Plus, Rivers and Tomlinson are both very handsome men.

The Case Against the Chargers
Let’s start with the fact that they just aren’t very likeable. They are probably the least likeable team of those left, and that’s saying something. Their marquee players include the surly Shawne Merriman, a known steroid cheat. And for a guy who’s having a down year, Philip Rivers sure let fly with his inner donkeyhole this season. LT seems semi-sane, but we can’t forget that he’s the one who pouted last year when the Patriots mocked Shawne Merriman’s “lights out” dance. Because, of course, it’s OK for the Chargers to gloat, but not OK for anyone else to gloat. In fact, the other teams must treat the Chargers’ gloating with due respect and reverence. Plus, do we really want a team to be vindicated for hiring Norv Turner?

The Case For the Patriots
No denying they’ve got history on their side. Don’t you want to be able to say that you were there when perhaps the greatest single-season performance ever by a team unfolded? Don’t you want to witness record books being rewritten? Plus, when the Patriots are on point, it really is amazing to watch. Flawless football, almost like athletic poetry in motion. There is also the aforementioned deposing of the ‘72 Dolphins. There’s the whole team-before-self bit that most of the Patriots seem to be quite good at, a boon for those of us who value that sort of thing. Furthermore, Tom Brady is undeniably cute, albeit in a my-you-know-what-don’t-stink kind of way.

The Case Against the Patriots
Bill Belichick, Bill Belichick, Bill Belichick. His self-satisfied smugness gets more insufferable as the days pass. And winning another Superbowl isn’t going to help matters any. And we can’t forget that whole cheating thing, can we? Also, the Patriots don’t really run the ball a whole lot, especially considering their offensive success. So even if they do the team-before-self bit, they might not be the best team for those of us who appreciate traditional football virtues. When the season opened, everyone expected the Patriots to win. During the entire season, everyone has expected the Patriots to win. So if and when they finally do win, doesn’t that make this season just one long march toward the inevitable? Booooring! Let’s mix it up. Also, Tom? I’m sure it does stink.

The Case For the Giants
No one expected the Giants to make it this far. But they weathered arguably the toughest division in football, and now here they are. If you’re into much maligned quarterbacks finally turning the corner and proving the naysayers wrong and if Rex Grossman let you down on that front, Eli Manning is your man. He’s playing well at the exact moment he needs to be. And with the Colts eliminated, he might finally shake his older brother’s shadow. The Giants have a fun-to-watch swarming defense, and picking them up off waivers was the single best fantasy move you made all year (or was that just me?). With the whole Knicks debacle, New Yorkers need some sanity. We can’t have them all going crazy on us.

The Case Against the Giants
Tom Coughlin is still a perpetually red-faced jerk. This whole “I’ve mellowed” act ain’t fooling me one bit. Much like the Chargers, the team as a whole really isn’t all that likeable. Even Eli Manning often projects as a petulant little kid. And he did throw that tantrum on draft day, for those of us with long memories. And it might be good for the residents of New York to learn that they can’t always be first in everything. Humility is good for the soul. And with the Giants distracting them from the Knicks (and from the Jets, for that matter) they can never learn that lesson.

The Case For the Packers
How cool would it be to see Brett Favre—all-time great, ruggedly handsome, genuinely personable guy—cap his unexpected late-career renaissance with another Superbowl ring? He deserves it. And if he gets that ring, the chances of him retiring improve dramatically, good for those of us who might happen to be fans of other NFC North teams. And at the other end of the spectrum, you’ve got a running back in his first full season having an unexpectedly good year. Like the Giants, no one expected the Packers to be here. So they’ve got the unexpected contender angle going for them. They generally conduct themselves in a respectable manner. And their coach doesn’t behave like a grandstanding asshat.

The Case Against the Packers
They’re cheeseheads. They’re the Packers. They’re…oh lord. There really isn’t a good reason to root against them, is there? God help me. God help us all.

There’s a Reason We Get No Respect…

Eva Longoria is now arguing against Jessica Simpson’s complicity in Tony Romo’s poor play. Longoria, married to Spurs guard Tony Parker, apparently feels Jessica’s pain as a fellow celebrity with an athlete for a significant other.

Longoria argues compellingly for the defense: Tony Romo has no time to think of Jessica when faced with “10 linemen coming at him.”

Hmmmm…10 linemen? Now there’s a personnel package you don’t see too often. And a 10-man blitz? Why haven’t we thought of this before? Perhaps Ms. Longoria should dial up the defensive coordinators of the world and let them know about her little stroke of brilliance. But, one question. What is the 11th guy doing out there? What is he? Chopped liver?

Thanks, Eva. Way to advance the cause of female sports fans everywhere. Why don’t you just stick to “acting”?

Steroid Fallout (Part 3 of Many)

Dear Roger,

You’ve had an impressive career.  You managed a unique comback that allowed you to get paid lots for not spending every day with your team.  You’ve got dedicated fans and dedicated “haters.”  And now you’ve got the Mitchell Report.

You did a nice, in-depth interview on 60 Minutes and then an all-out press conference.  But I must confess, you haven’t convinced me.  Perhaps if all this had happened right after the report came out, I would have heard sincerity in your voice.  But you waited too long, and your lawyers were too involved.  I realize you are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, but unfortunatly your big name puts more of the burden of proof on you.  You haven’t convinced me you’ve been clean. 

And – I hate to say it – but it’s a bit too late to crush the doubts planted in my mind.  And I doubt that I’m alone.

All the best in retirement and your future Hall of Fame bids,

TheCleverOne

Some Strikes, Some Gutter Balls, Plenty of Fun

The College Bowl Season, especially the BCS Bowls, are being called disappointments after an exciting regular season.  But there have been some great games in the lesser contests leading up to New Year’s Day, and I understand the Capital One Bowl had an exciting finish. 

The thing is, bowl games bring LOTS of money to the host locations, the participating schools and conferences, sponsors, advertisers, etc.  And the way our economy is built, you go with what sells.  How many airlines filled up as Hawaiians streamed to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl?  Do you think Pheonix hotels cared that West Virginia dominated?  They had plenty of out-of-town guests to keep them busy.  Even local USC fans encouraged the Illini Nation to spend $$ while they were in town.  And that’s just on-site.  Historically, ratings show that more people tune into a lopsided Big Ten v. PAC-10 matchup for the Rose Bowl than to watch Texas or another team play.

Is this right?  I don’t think it matters.  Bowls are a part of the college football game, just like March Madness is part of the college basketball game.  Was George Mason really one of the top four teams in the country a couple year ago?  Not all season, but they had an insprining run in March that knocked off better teams.  Neither system is perfect, but that’s ok.  Each system is part of what makes the sport fun.

And let me tell you, bowl games are fun.  The atmosphere of die-hard fans supporting their teams.  Everyone with your team colors on is automatically your friend.  And there’s plenty of good-natured rivalry with fans from the other team.  Even if the game disappoints, the experience is about supporting your team, watching a game, maybe taking in a parade, and enjoying a great holiday trip.  Fun.  The ceremony is a bit much at times, but it adds to the atmosphere.  And for fans watching at home, the games just give them something to focus on while recovering from a New Year’s Eve celebration.

I, however, wasn’t able to watch near as many Bowl games as I had planned, thanks to a last minute trip to see my boys play in person.  Yes, the Rose Bowl is one of the games that disappointed many (myself included), but the final score doesn’t reflect how well my Illini played — and I’m quoting a USC fan there.  But the trip was priceless, tons of fun, and I spent my share of $$ to support the southern California economy.  That meant I missed the Outback and Capital One Bowls, and saw only the final quarter of the Sugar Bowl.  I tried to watch WV and OU, but flights made that a challenge.  But I saw one game in person, so it all balances out.

Surprisingly Not Hot: Nick Swisher

With a cute name like Nick Swisher and a nice Midwestern boy pedigree, you’d think that the newest White Sox OF would be a least a mild hottie. Sadly, that is not the case.

However, as long as he continues to get on base at a .380 clip, he can be as homely as he wants to be.

Anatomy of a Losing Season

So Sunday marked the end of the the most disappointing Bears season in maybe the last 10 years or so. It wasn’t the worst season, if we’re measuring worst in terms of sheer volume of crap play. But it was the most disappointing, if we’re measuring disappointing in terms of the ratio of actual crap play to expected crap play.

The autopsy must start with our divisional play. We had no business losing twice to both the Vikings and the Lions. In fact, had we managed to split the season series with the Vikings, and win that Thursday night game against the Redskins (a game we absolutely should have won), I do believe we’d be in the playoffs about now. Someone check that for me; math was never my strong suit. Granted, we’d be the 6th seed, which means we’d have to beat the Seahawks in Seattle, the Cowboys in Dallas and the Packers in Green Bay—all to earn the privilege of losing to the Patriots in the Superbowl. But, even with my limited math skills, I can safely say that making the playoffs > not making the playoffs.

The small ray of hope is that the last two games of the season were probably the best games they played all year. Moreover, the last two games also proved that the Bears’ basic formula for success—swarming defense, superior special teams, adequate offense—can still win games, if they execute it right. So that could be a good thing, if it renews their drive and motivates them for next year, or it could be a bad thing, if it tricks the organization into thinking they can more or less stand pat and still be a serious contender next year. I’m afraid it could be the latter. While the formula can still work, it needs to work more than 7 times out of 16. And so the Bears need to make certain upgrades to improve that success rate, even if they keep the basic philosophy the same.

The problem for the Bears is two-fold. First, their needs are numerous. Second, many of those needs do not have obvious solutions, given the realities of the draft, this year’s free agent crop, and the salary cap. For example, wide receiver has been a problematic position for quite some time. Granted, Berrian has made improvements. But with the weak free agent class at WR, the Bears are going to have to bet a whole lot of money that he finally evolves into a legit #1. But you also need more than one WR. So either you pay handsomely for Berrian, and then watch him DBs cling to him like white on rice because you don’t have the money to pay Berrian and bring the rest of the WR corps up to par, let alone fill all your other needs too. Or, you let him leave and spread that money around. But let’s hope you put a lot of that money you’re saving into a new running back, because raising the running game back to respectability is the only way you’re going to take pressure off the receivers. And then you pray that puts them in a position to succeed despite their lack of skill. Not an appealing scenario for a team that dropped ball after ball after ball this year.

Where do they go with this and all their other trouble spots? At this point, your guess is as good as mine, and probably as good as theirs too.